Sunday, June 19, 2011

Only I Can Push Myself Onward

Nothing quite like a 25-year high school reunion to make one reflective. I had big dreams. I even spent the first three years out of high school on relatively the right track, the best I could: two years to establish independence so I could apply for the FAFSA (required for admission), and then got enrolled in Platt College instead of OSU.

I had a scholarship to OSU but couldn't use it right out of school because I was not offically independent, and the required paperwork for a dependent student, well, let's just say I could not get permission for that. My scholarship was only enough for one semester, and after my two years away from home to establish my independence, I wasn't sure how to go to OSU without a couple thousand dollars to enroll (and it didn't occur to me to ask a counselor - I just looked at enrollment fees in a book and timidly decided that was an unobtainable dream).

Big dreams often get usurped by real life.

So after last weekend's reunion, I indulged in a couple days' depressed reflection on my lack of success, and when I got sick of that, I gritted my teeth and determined to continue my Sisyphean strivance on this old dream of mechanical drafting and engineering: I finally broke down and bought a SolidWorks 2007 book, albeit used, but it should arrive from Amazon this week.

Even if only by inches, and I am just now arriving where I should have been 20 years ago, at least I am closer to my dream than ever before.

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