Thursday, June 5, 2008

Warping Our Children, One Marriage After Another

"Till death do us part" ... Is it really so foreign a concept? Just words mumbled with no thought or reverence or integrity?

Someone asked a question about how to handle her teenage daughter's objections to her bringing her date home around her. My question was simply, "Why are you dating when you still have children at home?" The backlash was fast and furious.

And this puzzled me immensely.

For centuries, millenia even, couples have been expected to stay together for life, and even if separated for any reason, to not remarry until the other has died. Yet the consensus reaction (of those who chose to speak) on the forum was completely aghast that I even suggest such restraint (even a tempered version of it: I consider it acceptable for divorcees to date after their children are all 18+).


I guess the hippies really did succeed in changing the world.

But not in a way that has improved the mental or emotional health of our children, no, but only to make complete selfishness acceptable and expected, as if self comes before all other considerations.

(I think the originators of the women's liberation movement did not really have the active constant seeking of another mate in mind that many divorced parents indulge in, but rather the empowering of women to be independent and able to live alone when such unfortunate separations came about. Of course, I could be completely off-track on that part, as I don't know much about the originators of the women's liberation movement.)

Our ancestors were on to something when they expected couples to stay together. Marriage to last forever. Or god forbid divorce happen, then you don't go seeking another but focus on helping others instead.

And perhaps, just perhaps, if you have children, your focus should be on them, not on getting yourself laid again. You'll have time enough for that when your business of raising responsible members of society is complete - you know, that job you voluntarily took on the moment you chose to mate with another fertile member of the human race.

America, with liberty and self-absorption for all.

No comments: