My heart is in pain. I am on a self-imposed exile. It has been more than a week now since I left my guild. My tears have almost stopped, but the emotional weight on my chest will not leave me be.
I see our cape in a town, I wave and beckon, but only one has acknowledged me, one of my frequent playmates. Others who do not know me as well are distant, either unsure of how to respond, or not noticing me as I am now without the color-coded alliance tag. I hope for what seems beyond hope - redemption and reversal of policy.
This is not the guild I spent the last two years of my life nurturing. My choice to play primarily with my husband has been criticized and condemned, tainted with an anti-nepotism policy for officers. The implication of misconduct for all married members offends me greatly: this is not a business, this is playtime. When my husband and I join a party, we're simply a double-sized player. We are a team deal.
Yes, we play separate a lot (I absolutely refuse to play hard mode where he has vanquished multiple continents; one or both of us have often stepped out of a group to make room for those who need a mission; we are not inflexible), but when we do play together, there ain't nothin' wrong with it.
And so I have left until the policy is reversed, and things are set back right.
And now my exile pains me. The longer it goes on, the stronger the longing I have to return. The lack of the steady pitter-patter of gold chat splashed across the screen, the habit of always checking in town - scrolling up for any unanswered questions ... now I have nothing but silence. Although I can answer public questions as usual in towns, the comradarie of familiar allies is simply gone. Emptiness. I miss you all.
I await change. Two more weeks is my goal ... my limit to have my slate cleaned ... The loneliness may make me succumb sooner. But unless this anti-nepotism rule is clearly voided, I will not return to the TOG guild, but will reluctantly join the renegade side guild.